Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Farmville is her only friend.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
