You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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