yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
