do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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