I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
