No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
