two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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