Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
