his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
