I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i think my cat just said my name.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
