I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
