dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
