I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
