she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
