All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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