somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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