So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
