I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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