so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
PANTIES FOUND
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
