So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
