i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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