All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
