trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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