I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
