There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize