Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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