i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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