Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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