i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
