you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
