I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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