My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
only you would photoshop your dick
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
