You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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