Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
