Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
