Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
