U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
