Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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