i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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