I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
