I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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