Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
