well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
