my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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