32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
