I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Never joke about your clitoris.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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