Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
