To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
