I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
