my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
