Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize