every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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