its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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