Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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