clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
