quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
