It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
