Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
