The maid of honor just puked.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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