the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
