I wish I could teleport
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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