I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize