that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
