check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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