How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't put those talents on a resume
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
how drunk are you?
Several
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
